I was falling and you saved me. You’ve been there for me for years. You’ve been my constant when everything was in disarray. I needed you, I needed you to heal me and you did. You nurtured me, you built up my confidence and you brought me back to life. I love you and I always will. You will always be my first love.

Now I have to let you go, I have to let you go because I feel like we have come to an impasse. I’m lost, I don’t know what I want. I can’t go on like this anymore. I can’t keep feeling this way. When it’s good, I feel strong. When it’s bad, I feel broken. I want you in my life but not if it’s going to end up hurting me. Hurt me in a way I can never recover.

I need to make a fresh start, I need to make a fresh start with everything, and I know when I let you go everything will change, my whole life will change. It will open new opportunities. I’ve felt like this for a while and I can’t get back on track. I feel numb. I don’t feel heart broken, or sad, I feel like I’m in limbo. I’m on the edge, needing to take a leap of faith.

I’m scared I’ll feel alone. I do not know what I would do without you. Everything about me reminds me of you, without you, I would not be who I am today. I want to cry, I shouldn’t cry, it’s silly. I should be strong and move on. Everyone will remind me of you, they will talk about you and it will burn me inside. I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t want this to end. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know if I can let you go, I still need you in my life, even if it’s now and then. I need to think, I need time away from you. I need to clear my mind.

Letting go is hard.

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